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Thursday, November 3, 2011

Giving Thanks

I must admit that I've been sheltered in my life. I have little experience with how cruel life can be... This makes me thankful! Although my life isn't perfect and my past has a few bumps, it's been pretty great. My parents love me unconditionally and continue to protect me from evil doers. I can never repay them for the life they gave me. I am also thankful for the people that have left me. Without the memories, my life would be far less interesting. And then there's my little sister, the spirited one. Although she's young, she still has a way of putting things into perspective for me. The newest addition is my husband, Doug. He has fought for me in my darkest days. I've never seen anyone so determined. Without him, I would crumble. Doug carries me through my sorrow and he laughs on my sunny days. He even serves me coffee every single morning (the best part of waking up)!

I also want to thank all the thousands of people keeping me safe at home every day and the families that are sometimes sacrificed for this luxury. I couldn't walk a mile in their shoes. I have things and am able to live an easy life. The people who make this possible aren't celebrated as they should. This is for you! I eat well, sleep comfortably, speak easily, pray often, and live selfishly. What would my little world be like if these people decided I wasn't worth it? Would I even be able to cope with a life less comfortable? In the end, I hope the people that make my life possible feel the immense gratitude I have for what they do.


Saturday, October 15, 2011

Red Leather Diary

I am 5 chapters away from finishing Lily Koppel's biographical piece of a girl in 1930's New York. Shortly after Koppel was employed at a newspaper in New York she came across an apartment building that was unloading tons of old trunks and treasures that had not seen the light of day in almost 80 years. In one of the discarded trunks, she found a diary with a withering leather cover. She became consumed by its contents. She used her resources at the paper to locate the books owner. Success!

I am completely enthralled by this book. The questions that this teenage girl had growing up during the Depression in New York City still ring true today. I can empathize with almost every passage she wrote. I highly recommend this to anyone that is looking for an all emotions adventure.


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Dreamer in Me

I've just started a book and it's inflamed my desire for things undiscovered by me. This Florence Wolfson was a girl far ahead of her time. I remember being so hungry for life and all that lay ahead. I don't feel that fire anymore. It's been smothered by unwelcome obligations. I loathe where I've allowed my life to go. I sit and sit some more. My sunny daydreams were replaced with acidic cynicism. Where do I go from here? Am I stuck living through the published dreams of one's who have succeeded? So here I am, listening to Nick Drake and sipping a coffee cup half full of wine... Will someone please remove the cloud over my head?

Monday, October 10, 2011

Week 1

  Current  175
  Goal       125
  Lost       0

  Pre-natal Vitamins (to help get me ready)
  Low Dose Hormones

  Food Below 60 on the Glycemic Index

Step One

As I've posted on Face book, Doug and I have had trouble trying to conceive. I began having problems about 4 months ago and was sent to see a specialist. I now have a good report with Dr. Michael Freeman of the PCOS center in Jacksonville, FL. He and the in house dietitian helped me get up to speed with my condition, how it affects getting pregnant and my physical well being.

What does this have to do with coming alive? Well, for the last several months I've really been beating myself up for gaining so much weight and not getting pregnant. I thought it was my duty to conceive and stay fit for my husband and I was failing miserably. Now that I've become educated, I undertand that almost all of it was out of my control. Now I have the right tools to get my life in order. I feel so relieved and excited. I can't wait to get back to a healthy place and finally become a mother. It's all I've wanted my whole life! Not to mention that Doug is going to be a wonderful dad.

So, please read and keep up with my progress as I set and exceed my goals. If any of you have suggestions or words of encouragement, I'm completely open!